Not Again
by unexpected sabotage
Summary: "Sometimes, when I like someone I have to make them go away." Never in her life had she hated that fact more, nor did she ever feel as guilty about her feelings than in that moment. She couldn't lose Bo, not when she'd just found her. Takes place right after "Faege against the Machine"
1. Chapter 1

She's sitting in the front seat of her truck, she can't accept what's happened just minutes before. She doesn't want it to be her. She's terrified of having to let go of Bo so soon after she's met her, right as she's getting closer to her. _"Why does it have to be her, anyone else would be fine so why her?" _Her desperate whispers lost to the night.

"_Sometimes, when I like someone I have to make them go away."_ Those words come back to haunt her, mock her, and it's happening again. The guilt, the pain, is a tsunami laying claim to your person. She can barely hold back the tears she's been fighting for so long. She just can't help her feelings for the succubus, no matter how hard she tries.

She had tried to deny it, to shove the feelings down, pretend they weren't what she knew deep down they were. She had to accept them now, no excuse could change the outcome of what was to come, the guilt making it even more real. _You can't hide your feelings from yourself much longer._

She shouldn't be feeling like this, nothing good ever comes from her having these feelings. _The last time this happened, the last time you thought you could be happy, that it'd be different, that you finally wouldn't have to be alone anymore. That maybe you could let down those walls you're so tired of having to hold up, having to rebuild and maintain, you had to say goodbye_.

They tried to take her memories of the past from her, her punishment, but there's just some things you can't forget. _The feeling that's been slowly building over the past weeks since you've met her, you've felt it before. _It's not love, but she knows it's only a matter of time before it is. She's falling far faster than she thought possible. She knows that if Bo is truly chosen, she might not survive what lies in store for her. If that were to happen...the mere thought is all it takes for the tears to fall. _She can't lose her._

"_I can't lose her. I can't go through this again." _

She can't. She doesn't know if she'll have enough strength in her to even try and pick up the pieces let alone put them back together, she's broken enough as it is, her heart's too shattered already.

She doesn't even realize when she got out of her truck, or when she started running, but she doesn't stop, she let's her heart guide her, her fears looming on the horizon.

She's standing in front of Lauren's apartment door, hand poised to knock. She's hesitant to knock in case the human's returned, but she knows even in her state she would have noticed, with that in mind she starts to knock. Her hesitance noticeable, the faint knocks growing louder in her desperation to see her and make sure she's still alright. Finally after what feels like eternity, the door opens showing a disgruntled Bo, sleep ghosting her features.

"What do you-Tamsin? What's wrong are-" She doesn't let her finish as she throws herself at the shorter woman enveloping her, crying into her hair.

_You're relieved she's not gone yet. You know it's silly, she wasn't just going to up and die or disappear in an hour or so, the trials haven't started after all, but you had to see her with your own eyes._

Bo doesn't bother to question what's wrong she figures you'll tell her when you can, instead she just holds you, trying to comfort you. You can't even recall when someone last held you like this, can't remember when someone last.._cared._

She knows then what she has to do, she won't lose her, she refuses to, especially when there's a chance for something more with the unaligned succubus, with Bo. So she reigns in the tears, takes a deep breath in, squares her shoulders, and pushes away from just enough to see her face. She's gotta be strong for the both of them, their future's at stake, their lives. She finds the strength she needs in Bo's arms, which hold her close. Looking into the other woman's eyes, her gaze serious, she starts her confession, her promise. "Bo, some real tough shit is going to go down soon, and I'm not completely sure it'll just be the dawning, but you have to promise me you'll survive, Bo please. I don't care what the fuck I have to do, but I'll help you any way I can to get you ready. I- I can't lose you Bo…"

_The tears flow freely once more, but this time_ _it's not just you who's crying. _

She finally understands the severity of the situation.

A/N: I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry but this ship is taking over my life and I'm working on a fanart of them as well. There just needs to be more fics out there for this pairing damn it. Sorry for my crappy writing I'm rusty as hell .-. Then again I was never really good at it lol


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: People wanted this to continue and who am I to deny fellow Valkubus fans especially when there are so few fics out there. Just to let you know I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

Bo collapsed onto a bar stool at the Dal's bar, head resting on the counter, catching a breath as she finished yet another training session for her Dawning. She secretly wished it would just happen already so she wouldn't be so tired all the time, not to mention doing all these ridiculous tasks. "Thank the gods that's over, I just wanna go home and sleep!" She whined, all she'd been doing is train, train, train with the occasional odd job here an there. She hadn't had much interaction with anyone as she was used to.

Things with Lauren had become strained since she'd missed the award ceremony, even more so when the blonde confessed to sleeping with one of her fellow scientist after getting incredibly sloshed. No wanted to forgive her, but it still hurt and yes she herself would have sex with others, but it was in her nature. She had to feed.

Maybe everyone was right maybe, being in a monogamist relationship with a human wasn't a really great idea when it led to pain on both sides, with that in mind she'd instigated a break in their relationship. She still loved Lauren, but she wasn't sure how much and had to organize her thoughts out. There was no use causing even more pain through altercations. She'd save them both the trouble of screaming matches and hurt feelings.

Kenzi wasn't really allowed around during training sessions and so her besti had taken to visiting old friends and relatives to pass the time, leaving a note here and there motivating Bo in ways only Kenzi could. It was one of the few things to look forward to when she got home, better yet if they were delivered by Kenzi herself.

Dyson well, she didn't want to think about him right now. She was still miffed he hadn't told her he got his love back.

Finally there was Tamsin another person she wished she saw more of, but she seemed to be busier every day cases popping up, the Morrigan being her bitch self. The few times she'd seen her Bo had been way to exhausted to be much company and it usually ended with Tamsin escorting her home to make sure she got there safely and not pass out on the road, offering her rides every now and then. If she was lucky she'd get a snack from the Valkyrie. Her chi remained the most amazing she'd ever tasted and she had no doubt in her mind it would stay that way.

It'd been a few weeks since that night at Lauren's, and in those few weeks she had found herself thinking more an more about Tamsin, so much so that she'd dreamt of her on more than one occasion. She thanked whatever gods there were that Lauren hasn't been around nor heard her moan out the Valkyrie's name. Not to mention she hadn't been there to see her wake up covered in sweat and horribly aroused, she regretted the latter. In those moments she had wished she was there especially since she doubted she could simply call up Tamsin and say 'Hey, I just had this crazy dream where we both had the most amazing sex ever wanna help me reenact it?' At times she wish she would just give in and call her, Tamsin had to take responsibility for how she left her even if it was only her dream self behind those actions.

They still hadn't really talked about what happened that night. Hadn't talked about what Tamsin had admitted to, but she knew she couldn't rush it, couldn't pressure the blonde or she'd rebuild those walls. Walls Bo had somehow managed to burrow through.

So she'd wait till Tamsin was ready to talk, in the mean time she had to figure out how to get up, she didn't fancy staying at the bar when she was starving not to mention she had no idea where Trick left to with his lady friend.

"Great my grandpa is getting more action than me and I'm the succubus! Ugh I'm so hungry, but I don't wanna get up." Caught in her musings she didn't hear a new figure enter and walk up behind her, mouth close to her ear only to whisper. "Would you like to change that?" The voice a sweet seductive whisper that sent chills down her spine. She new that voice, she'd heard it enough times both in her dreams and reality.

"T-Tamsin?" Inwardly cursing at her stuttering.

"The one and only, who were you expecting hot pants? Now get up I'm taking you out to lunch. " Stepping back to give Bo enough space, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Only if it's a real lunch none of that vodka lunch from last time!" Her eyes begging. She wanted to spend time with Tamsin but her stomachs was begging for food and alcohol wasn't going to cut it.

"Alright fine." Reaching out a hand to grab Bo's and yank her off of the bar stool. Muttering under her breath, "anything for my favorite succubus."

"What was that?" Bo teasingly asked. She'd heard her much to Tamsin's chagrin but she'd be damned if she would admit her words to her.

"I said get your hot ass in gear, or you're not getting any food."

"Do I at least get desert?" Her hand gently caressing Tamsin's arm, her eyes hoping for an affirmative response.

Tamsin looked back at the succubus, eyes troubled, lip between her teeth, before looking forward and giving a barely noticeable nod, ears tinted red as a slight barely noticeable flush spread across her cheeks.

They headed out the bar hand in hand.


	3. Chapter 3

They ended up going to a small diner Tamsin often visited by the station, when the hunger really struck.

They sat down at a small table by a window, wouldn't do if they couldn't take notice of their surroundings especially the outside. A young waiter walked up to them, slightly acne written, and lanky.

"Can I help you ladies." He smiled at them while what he thought was subtly, checking them out.

"Hey dork eyes up here, neither of us are interested in what you've got to offer unless its taking our order, now close your mouth, wipe the drool from your face an take our order." Her glare intensifying by the second.

The boy's face lit up slightly from anger, but mostly embarrassment for being caught. "R-right, what would you like to drink."

"We'll take two of the specialty burgers an two beers and if you even think about slacking, well lets just say it'll be even more impossible to a get a girlfriend for you." He gulped quickly writing down the order before making himself scarce.

"Wasn't that a bit harsh?" Bo queried, she was used to people being attracted to her after all.

"Gotta set them straight, that kid is obviously new here and I won't have him annoying me every time I come here, so no, wasn't harsh enough." Pointedly ignoring the succubus as she crossed her arms under her chest, looking out the window. You never know when someone could be spying on you, especially after she'd defied the Morrigan. She may be a Valkyrie, but the right fae, the right numbers, and the right opportunity could take her down, she wasn't as arrogant to believe other wise. She knew her limits.

"You know, I could have ordered for myself you didn't even let me look at the menu. How are you so sure i'll even like this specialty burger?"

Tamsin turned an amused gaze towards Bo. "Every one likes it, you just can't not like it, it's that good. It's the main reason I keep coming back here. So yes, I'm pretty sure you'll like it."

Before Bo could respond, the guy from earlier showed up with their beers and dashed off. "You really scared him."

"Yeah well, he should've kept his eyes in their sockets and his drool in his mouth." She stated as she brought her drink to her lips tilting it back.

"Didn't know you were so..protective Tammy, I'd think you were jealous." Bo smirked, leaning forward.

"Shut it succubus" Her eyes narrowed, she wasn't about to start playing this game.

"Come on Tamsin lighten up! What have you been up to lately?" Bo was starving and sitting in front of Tamsin, who's chi she could never seem to forget, no matter how many times she'd gotten a taste she couldn't get enough couldn't stop thinking what it would be like to really feed off of Tamsin. If her chi was so incredible in such a minuscule amount how orgasmic would it be to get more than just a snack. Bo had to force down a moan at the thought. '_Fuck_' she was hungry now and this time it wasn't for food.

She tried to snap out of her thoughts and just barely managed to hear the end of Tamsin's question. '_Oh shit, what was she saying? Oh no why is she looking at me like that! Did she hear me, no no I held back that moan, but what if, double shit!'_

"Um..what were you saying?" She asked a tad nervously.

"You start up a conversation and then just ignore me, way to make a girl feel special Dennis." The Valkyrie glared at her, her narrowed eyes doing little to hide the slight hurt in them.

"No, it's not like that! My hunger just got the better of me, seriously where's our food anyway?" She settled for a half truth, Tamsin didn't need to know it wasn't the burger she was hungry for at that moment.

Tamsin narrowed her eyes once more, sighed, and decided to let it go. "I said, should you really be worrying about other people's business instead of your Dawning." She raised an eyebrow in question.

Bo groaned, she was so sick and tired of all this Dawning business. "Tamsin please, can we not talk about that stupid Dawning, all I ever hear these days are Dawning this Dawning that, I just want a Dawning free day!" She looked at the blonde pleadingly.

Tamsin smirked, leaning over the table and trailing her finger down Bo's cheek, "I do so love it when they beg. Alright succubitch I'll give you what you want, but I want something in return." She didn't miss the shiver that traveled through the succubus.

"Anything," Bo managed to whisper in a daze. If she didn't know any better she would have though Tamsin a succubus as well. The way she seemed to affect her was still new to her. She could only imagine that maybe this was how others felt under her powers. Her cheek still tingled where Tamsin's finger had been, leaving a trail of fire. She wanted, needed more. She needed Tamsin to touch her more, to run her hands down her body, to leave those passion filled kisses along her body. Needed those pulling at her hair, those eyes piercing her soul, that mouth against hers. She needed that tongue, those fingers, inside her. Before she knew it, she was rushing forward, intent on capturing the taller woman's lips with hers, to take her then and there on the table between them, in this small diner. A diner filled with people, a public place, a place that should they go through with all the fantasies Bo's mind seemed to be creating a million a second, they'd most likely get arrested.

Bo didn't give a damn. She needed the Valkyrie before her, her Valkyrie. Her eyes glowed an intense blue.

Just before she could follow through on jumping the cop. The waiter arrived with their food._ 'Fucking cockblocker.'_

Bo sent a menacing glare at the boy, eyes still glowing, managing to only increase the effectiveness of the glare.

The boy froze up, fear for his life settling into him. He didn't know what was going on, but his instincts told him to run. The woman looking straight at him with that piercing glare was, was like death personified. He didn't know what he did wrong, nor did he care to find out, with that he spat out a quick apology and ran off to the kitchen.

Tamsin had noticed the changes in Bo's features as she spaced out. She'd seen the growing hunger, knew it was directed at her. She had witnessed the transition from Bo's normal hazel to the succubus blue. She'd felt like cornered prey. It was a first time experience for her. She was a Valkyrie she was usually the predator on the hunt for her victims, ready to deliver them to her king.

You just didn't mess with a Valkyrie more often then not in resulted in death. Yet here Bo was sitting across from her, a table all that separated them, looking at her with that intense predatory gaze. She looked just about ready to devour her. Either Bo hasn't fed enough as of late, or she had more of an effect on Bo than she had given herself credit for. She couldn't bring herself to hope for the latter. It just wasn't possible. Bo would never feel the same way, no matter how much she wished. Then again she could just be attracted to her, that wasn't such a far off idea compared to the other. She could understand that one, after all she was gorgeous she knew it. She was almost as confident in her looks as she was her abilities.

When she soon realized that Bo was about to have her way with her in the middle of this crowded diner, she had to quell the rising arousal and think of a plan. A brawl with a frenzied succubus in a place littered with humans wasn't a very good idea, even if there was the very appealing idea of hot rough sex being endgame.

Thankfully, or not so thankfully considering her rising frustration, the waiter came by with their food. Tamsin had never seen such an intense, hate filled glare directed at anybody, well at least not from Bo.

She idly wondered if perhaps, this was some sort of side effect from Bo's devolving, with her Dawning so close it was a possibility.

"Now who's being harsh on the poor guy." She joked hoping it would calm Bo down in some way. Much to her relief it seemed to snap her out of whatever mindset she was in. She was pretty sure if she hasn't she would have had to arrest Bo for murder or at the very least assault before she could even get a bite of her burger.

"Wasn't it you who said he deserved it?" She shot back.

"True, but if I recall you didn't agree with me then." She tentatively picked up her burger, taking a bite and savoring the flavor as it sent her taste buds into a frenzy. She didn't even bother holding back a moan at the taste. No matter how many times she'd ordered the burger it never ceased to taste just as amazing if not more as the last time.

"Yeah well, I agree with you n-" she didn't even finish as she was interrupted by the sound of Tamsin's moan. She wasn't the only one several of the neighboring customers stopped to stare at Tamsin. A good portion of the guys, gaining a glazed look in their eyes. Some of the women were torn between, smacking the guys, asking what it was she was eating and the few who'd gained the same glaze in their eyes, Bo being one of them.

"What? Succubo quit with the drool and get to it. That burger isn't going to eat itself, and it sure as hell won't taste nearly as good cold."

Slowly Bo eyes regained focus. _'Damn it, it happened again.'_

"And you complained about starving, hurry up and eat it, or this is the last time I go out of my way to take you to lunch at an actually food selling establishment." She threatened in between bites of her delicious food.

The combined mention of future lunch outings with Tamsin and the reminder of food had her digging in. She couldn't even contain the sound of approval she made at the taste.

"It's so good. What is in this stuff?" She but into it with renewed hunger.

"Trust me honey it's better not to ask and just enjoy the food, I figure something this good would only be ruined by going into detail on its creation. Now eat up, if there's enough time we'll even get one for that pet of yours Kenzi."

When they were just about done, a woman walked up to them, she had long, strawberry blonde hair reaching the just above the center of her back, and steel grey eyes. She looked directly at Tamsin and asked in a voice adorning a faint lilt Tamsin couldn't recognize at the moment, "Excuse me, but could you tell me what it was you ordered?"

Tamsin smiled at the woman,_ 'ah yes another to fall victim under the greatness that is this burger'_. "It's the diner's specialty burger they don't usually keep it on the menu, so you have to ask for it, if they give you any grief about it tell them Tamsin recommended it." The woman smiled at the blonde, "Thanks, I hope I'll see you around, by the way, my name is Tania." She placed a kiss to Tamsin's cheek and sauntered off.

"Hmm, I just might come by more often." She stated as she watched the woman go up to the counter, before turning back to her plate.

"Wow, could she have been anymore obvious?" Bo gritted her teeth a familiar sensation growing in her chest.

"Probably, well then you done yet? I have to get back to the station soon."

"You're never that nice with anyone, what's so special about her?" Promptly ignoring Tamsin's statement.

"Everyone deserved to taste something as good as that burger before they die. Secondly potential lay, I'm not blind, that girl was attractive and we both know it."

"Whatever, lets just get Kenzi's burger and head out. Can you give me a ride?" She stood abruptly, grabbing Kenzi's order, looking straight ahead pointedly avoiding Tamsin's gaze.

"I should have just enough time to get you to that shack of yours and get back to the station on time. Let me just pay the bill and we'll get going."

She walked over to the counter where the cashier was and waited as they totaled up the ticket. She didn't notice Tanya walking up behind her. "I just wanted to give you my number, in case you ever have some time to kill, or need someone to kill the boredom. You could show me all the…fun things to do around here." The girl really had a flare for exits she'd give her that, besides who knows this Tanya might just be exactly what she needed to quash these damn feelings for Bo. Not to mention a regular fuck buddy would be more than welcome.

She didn't notice Bo, watching the exchange. After paying she walked outside where Bo stood waiting for her arms crossed, take out back in hand, foot tapping and an annoyed expression on her face.

"Come on succulete, get in the car or I'm leaving your cute ass here."

Bo got in and for the rest of the ride, ignored Tamsin, choosing to glare outside the window. She wasn't sure why she was mad, it's not like Tamsin was hers, they were just friends sort of, yeah friends.

She couldn't deny that she felt something for Tamsin, but she wasn't sure just how deep those feelings went. Not yet anyway, but she was getting there.

Tamsin pulled over on the side of the road. "Alright what's going on hot pants?you've been acting weird ever since we left the diner. You're not leaving till you tell me what it is. I swear to the gods if you say something stupid, or so much as think about lying, I will leave your fine ass here. I am not going through this whole friendship awkwardness about feelings and shit with you for nothing, now cough it up because this is not happening again."

She was serious, she wasn't good at dealing with people and talking about emotions or anything of the sort. Hell just bringing it up had taken her several minutes of deliberation. The fact that it was Bo helped with the final answer. She just new she was going to regret this later she just fucking knew it.

"Nothing is w-"

"Don't give me that crap Bo, now spit it out and tell me what's up." Her hands gripping the steering wheel to keep her from smacking Bo upside the head.

"Fine! I didn't like the attention that Talla or whatever that skank's name, was giving you alright!"

"Oh what's this? The infamous unaligned succubus was jealous? Is that why you were acting like such a little bitch? News flash my life Bo I can have whoever I want and it shouldn't matter to you who I fuck around with."

"I know ok! I know! Ugh I just couldn't stand the way she was looking at you, I just wanted to punch her in the face for even looking at you! These feelings I'm developing for you, keep growing and I can't stop thinking about you. I can't go a damn second without thinking about you in some way Tamsin."

"Shut up." It was barely above a whisper.

"What?" Bo stopped mid rant confused, she hasn't been able to discern what had been said.

"I said, shut up Bo!" She was screaming now, head down, her face hidden behind a curtain of gold

"What the hell! Look Tamsin I don't know what's gotten into you, but I can't just keep this in. I like you Tamsin."

"Stop!"

"No, you have to listen! I like you more each day and I know for a fact that its not just attraction anymore it's something more!"

"JUST STOP." A chocked sob escaped her. Bo finally took notice of Tamsin's face. Her face screwed up, tears on the verge of falling, eyes projecting intense pain.

"Tamsin…" She moved to embrace her, but the Valkyrie moved back.

"No Bo, you can't just go on saying things like that. You can't just start liking someone all of a sudden. It's not some game ok, you don't get to play with my feelings. You're sick if you think I'll even for a second believe the lies your saying. You can't like me. It just won't happen you have Lauren and even wolf boy and I'm not about to join some freaking game for your affection. I'm not. It's bad enough I have to fight these fucking feelings everyday an I never know if I'll have to lose you like I did him and the couple others. If I'll have to forget about knowing you, just because I fell for you. Don't just sit there and tell me you might share the same feelings, because I'm not about to greater the risk of losing you just because you think you might feel something for me." The tears were flowing freely now. The broken look on Tamsin's face just served to break Bo's heart. She knew what she had to do. She had to prove to Tamsin that following a possible relationship between them would be good. That opening up to her wouldn't be the en of the world and that they'd make it through if they gave it a chance, because even if she wasn't completely sure how deep her feelings ran for the taller blonde she wanted to give it a try.

"You just can't like me Bo, not when I already like you not when the risk of having to say goodbye is too great." Bo reached over, pulling her into her arms hugging her tightly. The Valkyrie crumpled into the embrace her strength gone, as he cried out her fears, her worries, and her pain. She couldn't take losing anyone again. Bo just don't understand bad things always happen to the ones she loves.

**A/N: pfft Tanya. Also I made myself sad. Was it too noticeable how much i wanted a burger while typing this..**


End file.
